adminHolding back is a very common behavior among people new to running their own business. Once you find yourself spending a lot of your time wishing for more in your life or business, your career and even relationships, that should tell you that there is something holding you back from achieving what you want. You need to ask yourself, what is holding me back from getting what I want?
What do I mean by saying: what is holding me back?
If you feel you are failing to live up to your potential in one or more areas of your life and you are showing self-limiting or self-sabotaging behavior, then it shows you are holding yourself back. Holding back or self-limiting can take up many forms, and below are 10 questions you need to answer truthfully in order to help you answer the question, what is holding me back, and to help you start overcoming the self-limiting behaviors.
1. Are you bored, disappointed and frustrated with your life?
2. Are you always blaming those around you, such as your partner, friends, relatives and your boss, if you have one?
3. Do you always worry unduly about making mistakes?
4. Do you stubbornly stick to one idea once you have decided on something?
5. Do you dwell on your vulnerabilities and get motivated by your own guilt?
6. Do you fear making changes and taking risks?
7. Do you create hypothetical scenarios and worry more about what the outcome will be?
8. Are you always putting off making decisive decisions and wait to finish action A before you can start on action B?
9. Do you lose motivation when you don’t get confirmation or commitment, enthusiasm or interest about your ideas, from those you tell them to?
10. Do you lack a sense of purpose and find it hard to set goals?
If your answers were mostly yes to these questions, you really need to change your mindset, because you are feeling powerless to make any changes in your life and in the society around you. Take self-motivation classes or read books that deal with the problem of what is holding me back. Work on achieving a higher degree of self-determination. You will need some real self-confidence to keep pushing yourself on this.
On Dealing with it
It is important to realize that in life, you can’t just sit around waiting for life to come to you or waiting for things to just happen to you – you have to get up from your comfort zone, go out and seize life and opportunities with both hands. Whatever happens, tell yourself that you are confident that you will be able to handle it, and deal with it immediately. Remember life is about learning from new experiences every day.
If your decision is that I am going to overcome what is holding me back, then you have already learnt one of the crucial lessons that a strong belief in yourself can conquer anything that life throws at you. This strong belief in yourself also comes from constant self-affirmations daily.
What is holding me back?
One answer lies in dealing with fear. Whatever the cause of the fear maybe, fear always paralyses people. It maybe fears of showing your emotions, of being rejected, or fear of failure. Fear can stop you from getting what you want and stops you from taking the first step towards achieving your goals. You need to acknowledge that fear whatever it is, but tell yourself and push yourself to do whatever it is that has to be done, anyway, no matter what the result will be. Action and experience your ideas and deal with any challenges that may come up as you encounter them, there is more to learn in the experience than there is to lose. So do acknowledge that fear is what is holding me back from doing a certain task, then act on it regardless of that negative voice inside because fear is only imagination, not reality. It becomes real just like success when you focus on it and create it. It is all in the mind.
The way you start to take action is important
Don’t waste time trying to think how things will work out, or worrying about if you are able take a certain action, else you will be back asking again, what is holding me back? First write down your goals and get the information you need to work on it. Put all effort into any action you take, because doing things half-heartedly will risk closing doors to your opportunities before they come to fruition.
Put your energy in making the best of every situation
Have positive thoughts and repeat them to yourself whenever you start to doubt yourself. Your positive words even if you are not feeling positive will help to create the positive mood that will encourage and cheer you enough to carry on with your intended actions.
Once you master the ‘Art of Persistence’ and act like a two year old toddler who insists on getting what they want, by telling yourself and anyone else telling you reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t do or have something you know you want, repeatedly like a broken record. Self-talk that builds your confidence and conviction is very important once you decide, ‘ I want to cancel what is holding me back in life.
Language and words create your reality so be careful what words you are using for yourself. Listen to podcasts and recordings from motivational speakers whenever you can, keep earphones on you and use your phone to listen to these recordings even when you aren’t at home. Pin your goals on walls, on the fridge, computer screen to remind yourself of your goals.
You will need to work on that through your psychologist or using the self-help books that are available. Once you move from the negative influences of the past and live in the present knowing you are the architect of your future you will be able to stop the self-sabotage that is holding you back from prospering.
You must build your resolve and have more self-discipline knowing that you are responsible for your own actions. This way you will live a life of abundance and fulfilment.
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